Once a month, I sit down with a group of men from all different walks of life.
Some own their own companies.
Some work in construction.
Some work at a church.
Some spend their time traveling.
Others work inside organizations all across the Denver metro area.
Our routine is pretty simple.
Breakfast burritos.
Juice.
Coffee for the few who drink it.
We usually start by talking sports—who won, who lost, and what that means for playoff hopes. But at some point, one of the OGs (Older Gentlemen) in the group asks a question.
It’s a universal question.
One that sounds simple…
But lands differently for every man at the table.
The questions vary:
- Where are you struggling in your relationships?
- What’s a hardship you’re experiencing at work?
- Where do you feel the most supported in life?
- Where do you need more support?
At our most recent meeting, the question wasn’t complicated.
It was straightforward.
The table was quiet.
Then an older gentleman named Paul said,
“I’ll go first.”
Paul shared something from years ago—something he wasn’t proud of, something he had carried for a long time. As he spoke, the table changed.
For four full minutes, every man was locked in.
No cell phones.
No side conversations.
No bathroom breaks.
Just intentional, engaged listening.
When Paul finished, the two men closest to him gently tapped him on the shoulder and said,
“Thank you for sharing.”
After a long pause, the oldest man at the table said something none of us will forget:
“Fellas, your fear of not sharing is blocking someone else’s freedom.”
Paul then shared that, until that moment, only his therapist, his siblings, and his children knew what he had just told us.
What happened next mattered even more.
Two other men at the table spoke up and shared not the same but similar experiences.
They had never told anyone!
Not a therapist.
Not a friend.
Not a spouse.
What began as one man’s courage became a doorway to freedom for others.
If Paul hadn’t gone first…
Those stories would have stayed buried.
And those men would have stayed trapped in silence.
I’m not saying we should share everything with everyone.
Discernment matters.
You have to know when to share, what to share, and with whom.
But here’s the truth we can’t ignore:
Your fear of sharing might be blocking someone else from their freedom.
We love sharing joyful moments.
Wins.
Highlights.
Celebrations.
But it’s often the harder stories—the ones wrapped in shame, guilt, or pain—that give others permission to step out of hiding.
And when that happens?
Healing begins.
YOUR PURSUIT OF GREATNESS
1 | Identify your circle.
Who are the one or two people you trust enough to be honest with—not polished, not perfect, but real?
2 | Name what you’ve been carrying.
You don’t need to tell the whole story. Start by naming the thing you’ve been holding onto in silence.
3 | Go first.
Courage isn’t waiting for the room to feel safe—it’s creating safety by being willing to speak.
Greatness isn’t about how much you can carry.
It’s about knowing when to set the weight down.
Someone is waiting on the other side of your courage.
Someone needs to hear what you’ve been afraid to say.
And that conversation might change everything.
Don’t let fear keep you silent.
Let courage lead the way.
This is your moment.
This is your move.
This is your pursuit of greatness.
